stranger things have happened

Crazy that someone sells this in Nice, France. Did that pig really need a sphincter?

I should be sleeping now

1. Wait two days to call (can’t seem too eager early on).
2. Schedule a Wednesday dinner - Never a Sunday or Monday (those are “her” nights) or a Friday or a Saturday (those are “bars” nights).
3. Text on Thursday, tell her you’re out of town this weekend  (preferrably ‘snowboarding with the boys’)
4. If you like her, schedule date #2 on a Thursday (this is a better night, and you are showing your commitment to her
5. Kiss goodnight in cab in front of her apartment
6. Meet up on Saturday night with friends —it’s important that your friends and her friends meet and get along)
7. Leave friends at the bar; take her home your apartment.
8. Call the next day
9. Relationship commences/repeat with new girl

"Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl. FML"

Happy Birthday Chris Farley!

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

• Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
• Westley: You're that smart?
• Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
• Westley: Yes.
• Vizzini: Morons.

Wow.

gtmcknight:

Sad Kermit - Needle in the Hay (Elliott Smith Cover)